I Don't Belong in Skyrim

Hey, it's Reuben again, and I think I can safely say I just had literally the most frustrating experience with a video game in my entire life...

...and I've played Simpson's Skateboarding, Glover for Playstation 1, and Kane and Lynch, you know.

I've even played as Frank West until I couldn't handle it anymore, but never before have I been so quickly turned off and frustrated and anxious by a game so quickly. It was nice when it was nice, but then it wasn't. I think it irritated me so much that I have some stress related acne on my chin I didn't have two hours ago.

Saying this will be as unpopular as when I say how awful of a movie I thought Avatar was, an opinion which I still maintain. But settle in, because here it comes - I actually hate Skyrim so far. I think it's been terrible. It is so unconscionably frustrating I don't know how I can go on. Here is why.

As well, using Matt Muzzy rules, anything that might be construed as a spoiler will be in red. Here goes...


I'll first say that this game by no means, in theory, is a bad game. However, completely ruining all redeeming factors it may have to me is a sloppy and wet smorgasbord of technical shortcomings related to the progression and mechanics that all just smack of mistakes amateurish to even a Playstation 1 game and the part where I ALWAYS DIE. They are so prevalent that I simply cannot believe it has received so many accolades and high marks. I was so dumbfounded by this that I actually had to pause and think, genuinely, "is this the greatest prank ever? Is this game really actually so horrible that people pretend to love it so others will fall into the same trap? Is this the "The Room" of video-games?" Of course, it is not, and it would seem people honestly love this game as much as they say they do. I am not one of them. In fact, the only reason I am writing this is for a distraction so I don't go to bed livid. To conclude this intro paragraph, what the actual Hell?

I initially let this one slide under my radar because I thought it didn't look like my style. It seemed boring, tedious, nerdy and forgettable. I didn't even give it the time of day. It was so forgettable that I don't even remember the moment I decided to not give it any credence. Then it came out, and people were so excited I feel like many of THEM came, all over twitter and the rest of the Internet. Unreasonably inappropriate play on words aside, people went bonkers. I couldn't escape it. It seemed EVERYBODY owned and loved this game. Not just loved; more than a few people said it was the best game ever made. There is no way.

So I thought I should maybe give it a second look. Maybe I'd prejudged too soon. I've never been one to give fantasy much of a shot, but I thought this might be the game.

I got the game as my big Christmas present, and I finally played it. Yeah, my initial prediction was much closer to base than I thought.

I'll admit, I clocked in several hours because I have no friends or a girlfriend or many current hobbies or activities of significance, and I'll admit, for most of those hours I genuinely was kind of enjoying it. I started off rough, though. First, I spent like a half hour designing my character (a dark elf that looks like Abe Lincoln) and when I thought I pressed enter, the game scrapped it and started over for some reason. I had to do it again.

And soon after, this led way to the biggest, terminal, game-killing cancerous cyst on the side of Skyrim - relentless attackings from the game's other characters. Not just even characters! Pivotal characters! Ones you need! You slip up once and they will have it in for you. They will kill you. You can't avoid it. You can't run, and if you saved within the time the character consciously made the decision to kill you, you've made your bed. It's over. I had to RESTART a game because I accidentally struck the first actual character, Hadvar, that I met, and he needed to kill me. Then, when he'd succeed, I would spawn back where I began - right before him killing me. I couldn't not get killed either, because he was too strong and I couldn't escape and I couldn't even kill him! I was trapped. I had to actually RESTART. I chose to go with Ralof this time around, and I decided to watch my step and not strike him with a sword. But come on, it's a video game: there's no way I'm the only person who struggles with self-restraint with video-games. Every good person does, and game companies are suppose to recognize this and accommodate and be forgiving. Skyrim doesn't. Instead, they give me a huge middle-finger in the form of a not-even-very-impressively-designed Nord. The whole game doesn't even look that nice. It plays like, once again, a Playstation 1 game if you ask me...or a PS2 if I'm being generous.

In fact, as I was playing initially and having a moderately enjoyable time, I couldn't help but draw the parallels regardless Skyrim seems to have with the Uncharted series, Bioshock and Red Dead Redemption. I thought, "If all these games collided at high speeds into Assassin's Creed's boring ass and a Big Daddy pissed on the carnage, you'd have Skyrim."

Think about it. Draw the similarities. Bioshock's first person, hands projected and shooting our flames dynamic, Red Dead's necessity to round up useless items everywhere you go, Uncharted's underground ruins and catacomb types things, and like every single game that has ever had a catacomb, horrible zombies that are nearly impossible to kill. And mostly, Assassin's Creed's tedious repetitiveness and boring time period. It's pretty indisputable, but sadly the aspects that it seems to borrow from other games aren't even the best parts of those games. I think the Uncharted series is leaps and bounds better than this, Bioshock is my favorite game ever, and Red Dead was at least playable and had a fantastic storyline that made me want to play it. Even Assassin's Creed was better, and I couldn't even finish that.

I don't even want to play Skyrim anymore. I don't like it. I don't like the animations, the perpetually pissed off and ravenous characters, the story is boring, the environment is sparse and cold...I don't even know what I DO like about it. Every time I found something I liked, I would literally just get killed. Every. Single Time. For example, a fox is my favorite animal. I found on in a valley and I decided to run around with it. I wasn't going to kill it or anything - I wouldn't even dream of doing that even in a video game - and it was really nice and relaxing. There was glorious fantasy music and the cute little fox was panting, and it was harmless and pleasurable...and then some goddamn wolves killed the shit out of me. Just like that. I couldn't even chase a fox without pissing off some wolves for no reason. Then the fox was gone. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU

But I just think the worst part is how definite it is. You accidentally kill a guy or make him angry, and it's irreversible. "Fuck you," says Skyrim. "Deal with it you asshole." I've figured out why every single person in Riverwood is trying to kill me too. I killed a single chicken I shouldn't have. That's it. Before an elf, Faendor, was trying to kill me because I was simply on his property. No, I actually just walked past it. I can't talk to him now to finish a mission because I pissed him off. That part of the storyline is wrecked irreversibly. Now the next person I'm supposed to talk to, Ralof's sister Gerdur, for the progression of the game is trying to brutally destroy me...and she's also unkillable (at least to my knowledge). I can't leave the town fast enough because they will chase me, I can't fast travel, and I can't find refuge in a building because they spawn inside of every one I go into. I find myself trapped again...because I killed a chicken. I killed a chicken and ruined the entire game. Is that how this whole stupid thing is? Moments earlier I walked into a pub, and I kid you not, I kneeled down - that is ALL I DID - and the barkeep started to attack me with a huge massive battle-ax with his wife. They killed me several times. Oh my god. Now I can't go back into the pub without them trying to kill me, because I committed the sin of kneeling near a cheese on a table. Of course, I can't even BE IN Riverwood because EVERYBODY IS TRYING TO KILL ME AT ALL TIMES. I completed a Dragon's Claw mission, which took like three hours, and when I went to return it I found I hadn't actually completed it. I needed to go back and kill one zombie I had neglected to kill because I didn't walk near enough to a wall that would trigger the spawning of the zombie. So, I went BACK again, then I went to Riverwood to complete the stupid mission finally. I went to Lucan Valerious's shop and before I handed him the Dragon's Claw I went upstairs. I saw a bottle of wine on the table. There wasn't anybody up there, right? No, I was all alone. I decided to take the bottle of wine...and FROM DOWNSTAIRS, Lucian Valerian screams "you shouldn't have done that!" and runs up and kills me with his sister. This sister, if I can remind you, whose boyfriend tried to kill me because I walked past his house. Is this because I am a Dark Elf? Are they racist to Dark Elves in Skyrim? What is it?!

I'm only going to finish playing this thing (if I even physically CAN and if Riverwood will let me if I can run FAST ENOUGH to Whiterun because I DON'T EVEN HAVE A HORSE) because it was a very nice gift and I own it and there's no way I could sell it and get that money back. But I really don't want to. I like games with men in suits and hats and relatively modern politics. I am still so excited about Bioshock Infinite and Grand Theft Auto V, and if any of those come out while I'm playing Skyrim, I'm going to drop this shit like a hot potato. Hopefully I'll be able to kill a chicken in Bioshock Infinite without a whole city trying to massacre me forever and ever after.

I give Skyrim so far a D-

Batman: Arkham City

I played through Batman Arkham City a few weeks ago. I got it the day and came out and was so freaking excited since I absolutely loved the original Arkham Asylum. I was not disappointed. Well… maybe a little bit. But not really. SPOILERS will be in RED.

Arkham City is a game that I would put on my list the top 10 games ever made (that I’ve played). Althogh, since it’s a super hero game, it doesn’t have a lot of competition in that genre since all super hero games genuinely suck. But this game. By god! It’s almost a masterpiece! (still talking about Asylum). The sequel, Arkham City, took all of what made Asylum good and built on it. It kept in the combat (which is amazing) and improved on it further! Now you can take down 3 enemies at once as well as other new special ability additions.

The combat in Batman is superb. I can’t stress that enough. In a lot of games, I tend to dread fighting. Sometimes I’ll even go out of my way to sneak around enemies so I won’t have to fight them. Games put in experience point systems to try and coax you into fighting people, which Batman does as well. However, another way to coax players in to fighting is to make the combat so much fun to play! In this game, I will willingly fling myself into an enormous group of enemies and salivate as I beat the living shit out of all of them with the fluidity of a dancing flame! You don’t even have to be skilled! You can take it slow and careful in an attempt to time your strikes just right in order to build up combos for greater attacks OR you can just mash the shit out of the buttons and pummel everyone in sight! It’s really the perfect system.

Playing as different characters is fun. I remember hearing someone say before this games’ release that Catwoman felt the same as Batman in combat situations, so I wasn’t expecting much, but whoever said that was obviously an idiot. Yeah, she has the same controls, but she has unique moves, quicker actions, and a unique set of weapons. Outside of combat, she is pretty much like Spiderman the way she climbs up the sides of buildings and uses her whip to swing around rooftops. If you download the Catwoman pack before playing the game, it includes all of her story chapters into the game, giving you a break from the Batman story line. After the game is completed, you can free roam around the city and switch between the 2 characters at will.

Robin is only available in the challenge maps, which is a shame. He actually fights very well and has a sweat staff that he uses to smack people around. He even does a sort of spin kick thing ala Neo from Matrix Reloaded. He’s slower than Catwoman, but quicker than Batman. A nice medium. Hopefully we will get to play more as him in the next game (assuming there is a next game)

Arkham City had a set of comic books that prelude it. They kind of worked to connect the end of the last game with the beginning of this new one and I definitely recommend them if you haven’t yet started this game. They don’t reveal anything pivotal, but they do set the scene nicely so you have some idea of what you are getting into. I thought of it as a pretty cool idea.

This paragraph is kind of spoilery? Maybe? But it only spoils the opening scene, which I don’t think is much of a spoiler, but it’s important. The opening scene is one the best scenes in the game. It is VERY reminiscent of the opening scene to Half Life 2 where you are shoved through a containment camp and you are pretty much helpless but to obey the orders of your captors. This time however, you are Bruce Wayne being locked into Arkham City. What makes this good is the whole idea of “interactive cut scenes”. Most of the time, cutscenes take the control away from the player as a movie plays. Half Life 2 doesn’t have cut scenes like that. All of the action happens in front of you as you are still in control of your character. If someone is speaking to you, you can either stand and watch them, or you can wonder around the room while you listen. The game still gets its cutscene information in, but the player always stays “in the game”. This first scene of Batman is exactly that, and that is why it’s amazing. The only problem is, it’s the only scene like it in the whole game. LOL!

The graphics may not be up to par with games like MF3 and there may not be destructible environments like in BF3, but this game is gorgeous. It was kind of weird when they would have some cut scenes pre rendered and some rendered in game, but it wasn’t jarring or anything. The prerendered character models were amazing! Especially Batman’s mouth when he talked. Great work. Some character models were visibly less detailed than others. This is made even more apparent in the games Model Viewer Mode where you can actually unlock the character models and zoom into their little details (just like in Arkham Asylum). Lesser villains had models that weren’t as well done as main villains like the Joker for example. But they all looked pretty damn good.

The last game left me wanting more. And this game gave me more! More villains! I love Batman villains. The Batman universe has the best set of villains out of any other (with Spiderman coming in second my opinion of course) I pretty much got to see all of my favorites. The only problem however is that so many villains were squeezed in that a couple felt very rushed. I wish they could take the time to flesh out all of the villains equally, but I mean, there’s only so much you can do for one game. They actually squeezed in so many villains that I’m not sure if there is anyone left to do another sequel. They are either going to have to bring back quite a few or dig out some really obscure names for a third title.

The gadgets this time are cool. There are not a whole lot of new editions (and you start the game with MANY of the gadgets you ended with in the last game, which was very cool) but the new ones were definitely pivotal to certain puzzles and they integrated them well into the gameplay.

Boss fights are nice! Every one is different and not just rehashes of the same maneuvers over and over again. In the last game you pretty much just did the same thing over and over with boss fights, but in this one, you actually have to find patterns and figure out how to beat the guys. (I even had to look online at one point because I had no clue how to beat one guy LOL)

The free roaming aspect is done pretty well. Flying around is fun. I felt there were a LOT of enemies strewn about though after a while. I’m all for groups of thugs to beat up, but they put a LOT of armed guys on rooftops around the middle of the game. I don’t like guns a lot because it forces you to be stealthy and that takes a while (for my at least). I started to fear rooftop jumping because there would be gunners around every corner. Kind of irritating, but whatever.

The actual story portion of the game runs about 50% of the completion. THAT was a little irritating. Here I think I have a whole second half of the game to go only to find that about 50% is f’n challenge maps. I for one am not really into the whole “challenge maps” thing, so I pretty much only bought half a game… So yeah, it’s a little disappointing. BUT, I still have Riddler missions to complete I guess. There are side missions as well (I think about 9 or so) Those are kind of fun and are good to break up the main storyline a bit. Certain villains are exclusive to these side missions, and you don’t really have to even do them if you don’t want, but you’re missing out. You can always beat them after the game though of course, but I found it’s best to do them before the end.

Adding to the disappointing aspect and idea of rushed villains: fucking Dr. Hugo Strange. This whole time, Hugo was booked as the MAJOR VILLAIN. He was the mastermind behind this whole operation. HELL! It even came to be that he master mind the entire LAST game as well! It turns out he was Warden’s Sharpe’s psychiatrist and Hugo kind of controlled Sharpe in a way, leading him to create Arkham City and leading him to trap Batman inside of it. This guy is a genious! He can’t be beaten! He’s all powerful! Wrong. It comes time to find Hugo and you climb to the top of this giant puzzle tower, which I guess is daunting, but after playing through Infamous with an even larger tower, it wasn’t that epic. Hugo is at the top, locked in a room with armed guards. I take out the guards using stealth and walking through vents like normal, and then that’s it. I get to Hugo and it turns out he’s not really the main villain and he was doing all of this to try and take over as the leader of the League of Shadows, blah blah blah. So Ra’s sl Ghul kills him and then DIES AS WELL! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!? After all of that, building up to the smartest fucking villain ever, and he dies in 2 seconds (during a cut scene no less) and the REAL mastermind behind everything dies as well!?? IN THE SAME CUT SCENE!?!?!?!? WHAT!?!?

If you can’t tell, I was pretty pissed at this. Then Joker comes out and fumbles his way into the main villain roll (of course) yadda yadda yadda. Jeez Louise. What a letdown.

Basically, this game starts perfectly paced and AMAZING, starts to speed up, becomes rushed, and then ends abruptly. The ending is decent, but like… it just didn’t build up properly to the conclusion in my point of view.

Pretty much, when it’s all said and done, Batman: Arkham City is still an amazing game. It’s just as awesome as the first game if not better. But it is a little disappointing in the fact that it started so strong only to get more and more rushed as time went on. Still a great experience overall though. And if you are a fan of Batman, this thing is a MUST OWN.

Pros:

One of the greatest and most fun combat systems

One of the greatest casts of villains ever

Starts off amazingly and really hooks you

Improved boss confrontations

Looks great

Cons:

Doesn't continue using HL2 cutscenes like it does in the opening

Begins to feel rushed towards the end

iOS App Hedgehog Adventure is Too Cute for its Challenge

Update (02/10/11): Much to my chagrin, it seems that after this review was posted, an update for this app was released just a few days before (literally, like 09/29 was when the update was available). This update has greatly improved the app's performance on my device, but what I failed to see was that it also has a glitch that disables the first level to be actually completed. I have been notified by several people of this, late, late last night, and all I can say for any unfortunate buyers is that you'll just have to wait for another update. I'm looking into contacting the publisher today to notify them of the bug. Regardless, I did finally beat the game, and I can assure any concerned buyers that it's definitely a really fun and challenging game. It's the only app I've downloaded that has given me a significant, fair challenge and it was fun until the end. I'm disappointed it's over, but it has a really cool (and super easy) final level, followed by a short level that's more of just a high score attack. All in all, if I had purchased it, I would have been satisfied, but I only say this because I like the retro challenging feel to the game, and I had a lot of fun with it!

I'm extremely surprised by this review. Here's why; this app was free when I came across it, and upon booting it up, I figured it would be deleted shortly. I only ever feel compelled to write a review if I find the game worth the money at which it is priced, or if I feel it is severely under appreciated. This game fills both categories, if you're like me; you like a challenging, clever, and polished platformer. If you dislike one of these things, don't get this app. If you're uncertain, there's a free version, titled "Hedgehog Adventure - experiments". I don't know why it is called that, but it seems like the 'lite' version after a quick once-over.

Let me explain; "Hedgehog Adventure" has you play as a little hedgehog who curls up into a ball and you have to control him through 40 different levels, collecting all the pieces of fruit before finding the exit. I first scoffed when I saw that number -- "40 levels? That's child's play!" I exclaimed. I wanted to write this review after I beat the game, but so far, after about 2 weeks, I am on level 33.

Now, that sounds like a lot more time than I actually played this game. Regardless, I am completely shocked at how challenging this game is. However, it's not the frustrating "I can't do this because the game is poorly designed!" Rather, it's the "I know I can do this if I jump here/push this block here/etc." All the puzzles, for all their challenges, can be completed. It's the challenge of figuring out what blocks to use, where to go in what order, and several other factors that make it exciting. Not to mention the introduction of new level gimmicks continues up to the point I'm at; a level I played was mostly barren, until I took a leap of faith and found an invisible platform that appeared when I stepped on it! I know that could be annoying, but for this one level (I haven't seen it since), it was a blast.

Another positive point is none of the levels have ever felt too long. They are all within the scope of completion and are honestly well designed for a platformer/physics puzzle game. Seriously, this is some of the best level design I've ever seen in an app for my iPod.

I think it's worth mentioning the game's art direction as well. To be blunt, this is meant to look like a child's game. It's entirely cutesy -- the fruit bobs up and down, waiting for you to grab it, the platforms are candy cane striped, and when you 'die', your hedgehog just turns into a ghost. I implore older gamers to try and look past this style, however, it hasn't bothered me. It may be that it's because those are the types of games I play (I love the Sonic series for its style) but I can understand how real macho men might have problems playing this game.

Two things I'm not really sold on are the music and the controls. The music seems to be limited to two tracks, and although they are just fine for the purpose they serve...two tracks get tired after two hours spent on this game. Before you freak out because I was talking about stellar platforming before and now I just bashed the game's controls, let me tell you that my iPod is on its way to the great Silicon Valley in the sky. It tends to be unresponsive unless I touch the area near the home button to 'activate' the rest of it. So, the controls sometimes didn't seem responsive or always accurate. While the jump button can be held down to repeat jump, sometimes the direction buttons stopped working. I mention this whole situation because some of the game's reviews mentioned odd controls. So, while they've never really ruined the game for me, they have made me have to restart once in a while.

The last thing that is worth noting is the game's performance. After passing level 10, I ceased having problems, but level 3 and level 10 caused my iPod to crash and I lost my progress in the levels previous. This can be frustrating, sure, but nothing that seriously made me want to rage quit. Just restart the app or your device, or try a different approach to the level are the best solutions I have. I'm also playing on a 2nd Generation device, so that may also be the cause of my problems. Hopefully a stability update will be released in the future.

All in all, this is the classic platforming app that I've been waiting for. It's not exactly a Mario or Sonic, but it feels like how platforming should be in an iOS app. A platformer with great puzzles and some spot on physics, coupled with a cute hedgehog and an environment so cutesy, you'll want to puke.

Pros
Fun platforming
Fair challenges
Really phenomenal level design

Cons
Controls may be wonky (I don't know for sure)
Challenges this tough may be a turn off
Problems with crashing
The puke-worthy cutesy starts with a cheezy "Hello!" when you start the game!

Infamous

Everything about Infamous says it should be a corny, repetitive, and glitchy experience plagued with all of the problems of modern sandbox games. And while it is all of those things, it is an awesome game and deserves all the good praise it gets.

Infamous is about Cole Evans who awakes at the start of the game in the middle of a large crater where a super explosive had just gone off, wiping out a large chunk of the city. The effects of the bomb have spread throughout the rest of the city and now it is quarantined, letting no one in and no one out. To make matters worse, the city is overrun by different gang factions, all of which have gained kinds of super powers from (I’m assuming) the explosion. Cole has powers as well, and can manipulate electricity! However, news gets around that Cole was the carrier for this explosive that threw the city into turmoil (although he remembers none of this) and so the city is very on edge towards him. Cole must now decided whether to try and better his public image by doing good, or take control of the city by any ruthless means necessary; all while trying to unravel the puzzle that is his existence.

The first thing you notice is Cole’s voice, which is really deep and somewhat cheesy. It’s almost Metal Gear Solid-esque. I thought this was going to irritate me for the entire game, but the voice actually grew on me quite fast. It is a super hero game after all, so the voice eventually fits his character.

The second thing I noticed was the actual graphics of this game. The shadows (at least on my consol) were very pixilated. As the game progressed, I noticed many of the electrical effects were the same. Now, I’m using an HDMI cable to hook my PS3 up to a 1080p LED TV, so I don’t think it’s my system. I’m just not sure why some of the graphics would be so splotchy. It could also be the sheer amount of “stuff” that’s crammed into this game, feeding the need to downgrade things like shadow quality.

Don’t get me wrong, the game looks very nice. I was just expecting more from a Playstation 3 title (especially after playing Uncharted) But when you have a very large sandbox environment, that’s to be expected. One thing what I would really LOVE to point out is “bugs”. When you get to the part of the game where you play at night, you can actually see small swarms of bugs gathering around lights. I thought this was a very cool touch added by the developers.

Speaking of the environment, the city itself (Empire City) is sprawling and vast. The game encompasses 3 islands of cityscape. It’s impressive to see how much city there is (especially when you eventually climb to the highest point and can look down on all of it) but if you try to memorize the cities, you’re in for a challenge. This is because there is a large amount of reused areas. It took me a while to figure it out, but after passing the same gas station 4 times, I realized: there is 4 of the same gas station. (there may be more, I didn’t care to go around and count them all. The same goes for boat houses, warehouses, little cemeteries. They all look exactly the same, and so it’s hard to judge exactly where you are without consulting your map. I understand that this is necessary for making a very large city in a sandbox game, but when you think of games like Grand Theft Auto that pulled off a massive city that you could learn and traverse without using a map, you start to want more out of your games. GTA really raised that bar in this genre (which it also created). I’m not saying that the reused areas are bad, I’m just saying that it can become disorienting if you aren’t using your map.

Along with the repetitive environment, there is also repetitive gameplay. Usually when I hear that a game is repetitive, I shy away from it. But Infamous proves that it can still be fun. The game has different missions throughout the city, I want to say there are about 5 or 6 different mission types that you just play over and over in different sections of the city. But even though the mission types are the same, they get more challenging as the game goes on. There are then of course the story missions which are all basically different, but they get more challenging as time goes on. There are also sewer missions which have you go underground to activate large power circuits that turn electricity on for blacked out parts of the city. These missions are fun because with each one you gain a new ability, and the sewer then acts as a tutorial on how to use it before it unleashes you on the city above. So although missions are all basically the same, you get to play then with increasing difficulty and new abilities which give you new ways to complete the tasks.

Part of the games difficulty stems from its enemy types. This game has a LOT of different enemy types. I was impressed. Uncharted had like….2. This game has near 20! More and more enemies are introduced as you progress and each new enemy is increasingly difficult to defeat. It ranges from basic gang member with a gun to flying, grenade launching machines that turn invisible (which are very irritating). The enemies were something I thought the game did a great job with. Even after you beat what you think is a boss, they just throw into the city one day when you are running around! It was also nice to see that the boss battles used attacks and animations that were specific to them and are not seen outside of that fight. So you have to learn the attacks at that moment and know how to move (where as other games just have bosses that are bigger versions of enemies you’ve fought 100 times before)

The checkpoint system (for when you die) is pretty good. It has its faults though. Many times I would die and it would respawn me with a couple less enemies or in the case of chase scenes, would put me a bit further along than I was, kind of adapting to my abilities (or lack there of) which I thought was kind of nice. Some people may find irritating. But there are other times when it’s the complete opposite and spawns you right in the middle of a roof top surrounded by enemies that all immediately fire upon you (I find THAT irritating) But all in all, it felt pretty good.

Controls are pretty good. You can jump and dodge and attack and all that stuff. You hold a shoulder button to go into an over the shoulder, 3rd person shooter, style camera and can fire on enemies with electric energy bolts. The more powers you unlock, the more buttons there are to press. Eventually you have the entire controller filled with attacks that you can use. You can also upgrade all of these attacks by gaining experience points for things like defeating enemies and completing missions. The attacks also use your electric energy which you can recharge by sucking energy from electronics like cars and street lamps and whatnot. Collecting “blast-shards” around the city will increase the amount of energy you can hold at one time.

An irritating part of the controls is climbing. You can climb ANYTHING in the city and go pretty much anywhere you want. You just need to jump at something and Cole will grab on. But this can get glitchy; which is expected in this kind of game. Sometimes he won’t grab something unless you jump at it just right, or sometimes something will be just out of reach and you have to find an alternate route, but later found out you could just get a running start and make it up. Climbing down is an even bigger pain. If you hit the drop button, Cole just drops down to the next ledge no matter what. So you either have to jump completely off the building and land who-knows-where, or sit there and hit the drop button some 50 times to make it all the way to the bottom. (I think they fixed this though for Infamous 2 by including a button that you have to hold in order to hold on to a ledge (ala Shadow of the Colossus)) This can be especially irritating in high pressure situations like chases or when you are running for cover.

Speaking of which, there is a cover system! But I barely ever used it. I’m usually the kind of guy that uses cover all the time. In Uncharted I was behind cover about 98% of the time. In Infamous, it was just easier to fly over someone’s head and fill their face with bolts of lightning quick enough to kill them dead before they killed you. Cover also becomes obsolete when you have enemies that do nothing but shoot missiles or grenades at you. It was a nice touch, but something that could be greatly improved.

One of the biggest features of the game is its moral dilemmas. You can either be good or bad basically. Cole can either help all of the people in Empire City and reach Hero status, or he can kill and steal from people and become Infamous. Even though the game’s title is Infamous, I decided to go the hero route. In a game full of villains and gang members, the people NEED a hero! Both paths give you slightly different moves which you can look at in your pause menu. I really didn’t see a whole lot of difference in them except when you are going bad, your electricity becomes red instead of blue. When you are good and complete good missions, the citizens of the city stop to take photos of you, come to you for help, and even help you fend off enemies by throwing rocks and stuff. When you are bad, people throw the rocks at you, and also run up and push you and stuff like that. I’m assuming since the city is full of people, going the “bad” route would make the game a little more difficult because practically everyone would be an enemy; but I look forward to playing through again, being evil this time.

The NPCs in this game are hit and miss. To me, all of Cole’s friends and family were really irritating. Not sure why he hung out with them. There are a couple others though that were decent, but all in all, I think Cole would be better off running alone. The story itself is pretty decent actually. It’s not super corny, even though it is a little. It’s got some pretty good twists and turns that left me feeling pretty good ( can’t wait to get to 2!)

The cutsenes are all animated comic book style. This may throw some people off (threw me off at first) but they actually aren’t that bad. They add some style to the game and make it different. The art is also very well done in these, and even though they are stills, there are slight animations that make them come alive.

All in all, Infamous is a fun adventure. I really enjoyed the freedom you had and always looked forward to new missions. This is why I’m so anxious to play the second game now! I’m hoping that in Infamous 2 you get to keep all of his powers from the end of 1. I know one thing they improved in 2 is walking on water. I know from the demo in 2 you can run on water for a limited time before falling in, whereas in 1 you just splash around and slowly die unless you can jump out in time.


Pros
Fun gameplay
Many different enemy types
Many different powers
Decently good story
Repetitive done well

Cons
Repetitive nonetheless
Can be kind of corny at times
Reused areas in city makes it hard to know your way around
Glitchy climbing and cover system

Sonic Colors Has a Short Reach for the Stars

I held off on Sonic Colors for almost a year because I hate my Wii. I resent its place in the market, as well as my home. However, I should have tried this little gem sooner!

Sonic Colors is the newest entry in the "not sucky" Sonic game series. I've been day-one-purchasing all the newest titles because I love the series, but I can fully recognize their swift decline. Just ask fellow writer Matt Muzzy about the experience I put him through with Sonic '06! I was pleasantly delighted in playing this game, as my biggest complaint (of very few) is the brief nature of this game. I purchased it and beat it in less than 12 hours from the time of purchase. Total playtime was probably about 3 hours.

Of course, there's still 100%ing to be done, with a just reward at the end (seriously, it's exciting), but I have gone through all the levels and bosses and have even completed 50% of the "extra" in such a short time. I will admit that those three hours were almost straight, pure fun.

To begin, I suppose I should point to the co-op levels. Though there are only 21 basic and short co-op "remakes" of the various Sonic 1 zones, they were a blast to play through with a friend of mine. It was very much like playing through New Super Mario Bros. Wii but actually having a good time with it. The levels were challenging and fun, and the mechanics require teamwork. However, it's kind of frustrating that your Sonic wants to constantly homing-attack the other Sonic. In this case, the simple remedy would have been to map the homing attack button to another button, rather than share it with the double jump button. It was a frustration, though, that made me laugh, not eternally hate the other person (a la NSMBW).

I actually played through the story mode after playing through a third of the co-op levels. I was pleasantly surprised with a majority of it -- the levels were rather well designed, the camera was well-improved, and the locales were inspiring and really pretty. On that note, the graphics here are top notch; every world is populated so well and has a lot going on in it. There are some ugly pieces, but they are just pieces to a grander scheme. I want to make note that the levels, in comparison to Super Mario Galaxy, are much more impressive. Though perhaps not as refined, they are much more interesting because they offer a "fullness" to them -- something that a game set strictly in space loses.

All in all, right now is a good time to get Sonic Colors. I don't think $50 was a fair price point, but the game is really fun and if you are a completionist, it has great replay value. It's also the first game in a long while that offers a just reward for completing everything. It's a great game for a rainy day and it's definitely one of the Wii's few greatest games (IMO).

Pros:

Charming and fun

Beautiful locations

Good Replay Value

Cons:

Way too short!

Story is...terrible

Rough, goofy dialogue

Wishing I hadn't discovered [Uncharted] Drake's Fortune

This game may be the worst downward spiral I’ve ever played. Spoilers will be in RED.

Uncharted has garnered quite a bit of attention since its release. People praise it for its amazing graphics and cinematic style of gameplay. It is said to look like a movie at times, which is true. I was interested in it since 2007 but only recently was able to pick it up when I bought a PS3 for the first time. I thought I might as well by Uncharted as my first PS3 game since it is seen as one of the Playstation’s crown jewels.
It is a 3rd person shooter, action adventure title with many plat forming elements. The game begins and is pretty breathtaking. You begin to get to know the characters and everything starts to unfold. It has a very Indiana Jones feel to it, and I love that. You adventure through the jungle and some ruins and you climb rocks and trees and stuff. The climbing reminds me a lot of Shadow of the Colossus (which is my favorite game of all time) so it was easy for me to get hooked.
Then the gun fights began. I knew it was inevitable so I held my breath and ran into battle. The controls were nice enough and I got through. The only problem is the gun fights never stopped. Fire fights soon rook precedence over the actual “adventuring” portion of the game. As the game progressed, instead of having climbing and puzzle solving challenges with some gun fights in between, it became more and more of a fire fight where you have to turn a knob every once in a while. And don’t get me started on fucking jet skis!! UHG!!
There are also many parts where you are climbing and jumping around environments and (unless you know exactly where to go) you have to guess and check. This usually ends with you falling to your death. But instead of you spawning anywhere near where you had died, you have to start the whole thing all over again. That’s not to say the check point system in the game isn’t good, because it is. The moment you get somewhere its saves (I even had the game freeze a particularly crucial moment and it actually saved exactly where I was when I turned it back on) but it’s when you are doing climbing puzzles that I wish it would actually save where you are in the room and not just making you start the whole freaking thing over again.
Not to mention this one time there was a gap I had to jump. I tried jumping it 10 times and feel and died each time. I kept trying though because it was the only place I could see to go. I finally broke down and went to Gamefaqs and low and behold I WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING!! I went back and tried 5 more times and I made it across. It’s the multiple moments like that that make this game frustrating.
What was the most frustrating? When the fucking monsters came out. No, I mean literally. Monsters come out. Yeah! It was at that point the whole game was ruined for me. I actually didn’t even finish the game. After my 13th attempt to run through a corridor of giant clawed zombie monsters that kill you with one slash, I put the game away (it’s a good thing I bought it used or else I’d feel bad). When I started this game, I was looking forward to a realistic adventure. Not a goddamn Guillermo Del Toro movie. It figures that this game would be looked at so highly by the “gaming” community. I should have known fucking zombies would come out.
Uncharted started off amazingly and turned into a nightmare. And no, I still haven’t beaten it to the end because I was so frustrated. I may go back and finish it since I do want to know what happens in the story, and I kind of wanted to play Among Thieves and the new one that’s coming out soon, but now I don’t even know anymore. I’ll probably just go out and get Infamous and start playing that franchise. Thankfully the HD ICO and Shadow bundle is set to release in a month or two.

UPDATE: I beat the game. Ya. The explanation for the zombies kind of made the idea better. Even Indiana Jones has strange and paranormal stuff like that in the movies, so I guess I can live with it. I was reading a little about Uncharted 2 to make sure there were no zombies in it. Turns out there are Sasquatches LOL!! It just figures. I will never look at this series the same way.

The last fight pissed me off because it played out just like that time I mentioned before where I was jumping that gap and couldn't make it, only this time it was a fight. I thought I knew what to do and I tried it over and over and just couldn't get it to work. So, usually when one thing doesn't work, you try another. I tried to do this fight scene about 13 times and nothing I did could keep Nathan from getting killed so I went online again, and low and behold, the answer was what I was doing from the beginning. I tried it a couple more times and it worked... uhg. It really makes a "dramatic ending" lose all of its drama when you have to replay the scene over and over 20 times. Maybe I just suck at games. Maybe this game sucks. Who am I to judge? I only have a bachelors degree in Game Design LOL

But seriously, the game really isn't that terrible I suppose. But it still doesn't live up to the hype the gaming community created for it. Uncharted 2 is suppose to be better though, which I hope is true.

Pros:

Pretty good visuals

Fun dialog and characters

Did actually feel like a movie sometimes

Fun environmental puzzle solving

Cons:

What was mentioned in the spoilers...

Too much gun fighting and not enough adventure

Some spots are difficult for stupid reasons

Hard to find things may be too hard to find at times

Check Points vary in convenience

In Defense Of: Dark Void

I can understand some of the scores this game received when it was first released. I'll say it right off the bat: the controls can be crazy-wonky at times, the story is a bit loopy, some levels are too small while others are too big, and overall it has an aire of disappointment. For a lot of people, they were disappointed with the game as a whole for being so questionable. For me, I was disappointed it never fully reached what it seemed it was supposed to be.

I'll begin by saying this is the only Capcom game that I've owned for a long period of time and have played through twice. I think a majority of what they produce is ultimately exciting, innovative, and really interesting...but upon trying it out, it always just kind of falls short. Dead Rising and Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is my modern case in point. However, Dark Void presents something that I just can't explain.

Dark Void started as a game Capcom hired a western game studio (Airtight Games with employees who were involved with Crimson Skies) to produce, in hopes of beginning a new IP and attracting western audiences. Unfortunately, it failed. It had a great number of elements to it, looking back; a score done by Bear McCreary (Battlestar Galactica), a relatively unused gimmick (jetpack), and such an interesting story. Not to mention, it was made in an effort to make new IPs during the times of Mirror's Edge, which I feel very strongly about. What ultimately resulted in its failure was the lackluster reviews it received, the fact that it was new and not a "tried and true" IP, and that it was significantly flawed.

The story follows Pilot Will Grey and his awesome jacket, attempting to save his female interest, Ava, while also reluctantly fighting back an alien race from taking over the Earth. While it's standard Sci-Fi fare, it's told in such a way that reminds me of the mystery of older generations of games -- when there wasn't a Google to search the reasoning behind something or a better explanation of what's going on. I mean, hell, I spent a good hour to two hours attempting to find even a shred of "underground" info on this game's development.

The reason it deserves consumers' time stems from the fact that it just feels ambitious. Playing through it, you realize the confusing elements stem from a lack of time or budget in production and it makes me want to know what the original intent was behind so much of the game. It's support for games like this that will help the games industry move forward, producing new and original content alongside current, established IPs. Unfortunately, the market in just about every industry sucks, and Dark Void was a risk that unfortunately failed to pay off.

And what makes it even more disappointing is it sets up for a sequel that would have been set during WWII. All these confusing elements lead to something that is never going to happen. My only hope is that Brad Pitt's movie company (Plan B) goes through with the production of the movie. Even without the game ties, the story is still such an interesting Sci-Fi.

All I can really say is that if you like third-person cover-based shooters or titles that are mysterious cult hits, then Dark Void is worth the small admission price.

Pros:

Mysterious Sci-Fi story

Fun jetpack mechanic

Phenomenal soundtrack

Cons:

Controls can be irritating

Level design is often lacking

So much left unexplained!